in , ,


Is it healthy to discuss your past relationships with your partner?

Relationships fail and break, we form new ones, sometimes we dont but it is pertinent to keep moving and do not let the past experience deter you.

They’re so many factors that determine the longetivity of a relationship. Reasons why a relationship can fail may include incompatibility or a really big fight which cannot be overlooked.

When forming new relationships, most people are scared to talk about their past, not for any ulterior motives but for the fear of being dumped, left heartbroken or judged wrongly.

While for some its an innocent decision, some other people have sinister reasons, they want to continue with the perfect picture they’ve painted or they want their new partner to be decieved into believing the notion that they’re wonderful people.

However while making decisons , you must put your partner in your shoes and ask if reverse was the case would i be happy?

Should i fill them in on my past or should i let it go has been bone of contention for starting relationships, while some are of the opinion that you should let the past be the past, some are all for Transparency.

There are mainly two takes on how this can go. Speaking with two different people we discovered there are conflicting opinion.

Mr A said;

 “i prefer you state whatever happened, if it was your fault, state it and

If the person truly loves you he would understand.

The first thing he/she would do is to notice that you are extremely accountable and that is rare, and a crown no responsible person will opt out for.

Anyone who thinks your past is shit because you admitted you made a mistake is trash for you. If they move on because they can’t deal, its not a big issue either, it means it wasn’t meant to happen.

Talking about who you are is far better than finding out from other people or by ourselves in most cases. Our problems and mistakes are the beautiful side of us.

We are to be proud of our mistakes in a sense we take it up like a mat, role it on our shoulders and move on. This is the experience in life”.

While Mrs B said;

“Its best that what happened in the past stays in the past.

Cause the person you’re dating may not have the maturity to discern that you’re no longer like that that is if you “changed”.

Most times they use your past against you, and judge you with it already before the relationship even starts. So its best you just say “it just didnt work out” Or “we were both at fault”.

After analyzing the both answers that were given above, I’m of the opinion that you should understand the kind of partners you have.

Some partners will rather not know anything about your past, they prefer everything to stay in the past, while some other people will go wild for keeping them in the dark.

Choose whatever works for you, what applies for your neighbor may not work for you. Just follow your intuition, it always knows the right thing to do.

What’s your take on this?.

4 4 votes
Article Rating


What do you think?

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
October 28, 2020 7:58 pm

Nice one sis, n I am of the opinion that you first understand the way your partner thinks before telling them about your past

Reply to  Magdalene
October 28, 2020 8:02 pm

Hiding your past because you were wrong, doesn’t mean you weren’t transparent and you?

October 28, 2020 8:04 pm

I think it is the beat thing to do.
Telling your partner about your past. But this should be done before you venture into a relationship.
This first principle of relationship is TRANSPARENCY!!
If you are hiding something, it makes you a liar already. Most of those relationships don’t work.

Truth can never hide

Alexandra Ehikhuemen
October 28, 2020 8:05 pm

Hi everyone and nice write up, well for me I will say it’s better and healthy to tell your new partner about your previous relationship so that surprises doesn’t come up in your relationship and that build more trust

October 28, 2020 8:25 pm

Depends on the level of understanding between the partners ,somethings are better left untold ,just let it pass ,Wah u don’t knw ,won’t hunt you 🤷🏽‍♂️

Reply to  Moore
October 29, 2020 7:39 am

why wait before you get into a relationship, before you start talking about your ex? nawa oh

October 28, 2020 8:28 pm

Well stated. For me tho, I am in that category that would sweet talk my past relationship to the current girl I am dating,. Even if I was at fault, I would still let her know the parts I did wrong tho, but would make it look like her own part was even worst than mine 😂😂 I want a sweet relationship with my present, don’t want her to start thinking maybe I could do the same thing to her.

October 28, 2020 8:42 pm

Nice one

Blossom Abike
Blossom Abike
October 28, 2020 9:48 pm

like You said not every partner is mature enough to understand
get to know your partner first and remember relationship doesn’t have a standard rule what works for me might not work for you
we all are different people same as our partners

October 28, 2020 9:50 pm

the Final conclusion is not bad either but I’m of the opinion that you talk to your partner about your past if it’s something they ought to know, something very important that could hurt them if they find out you kept it a secret, whoever wants to love you will always do, no matter the kind of past you got, if your relationship is the one leading to marriage then you must do the needful to talk about that past #Myopinion

alt="Nigeria Football Federation boss, Amaju Pinnick"

Nigeria Football Federation receives $1.6m from FIFA for COVID-19 palliative

alt="Sanwo-Olu and some Police Officers at Alausa, Lagos state"

#EndSARS: Sanwo-Olu awards scholarships to children of slain Police Officers